A decade

It's hard to believe that Josh and I have been married for 10 years now.  He might say otherwise though, since every year, he always attaches the word "long" to each number of years we've been married.  I don't think he thinks it's a bad thing.  I just don't feel the same.  To me, it feels like it went by rather quickly.

So how did we celebrate our 10 years?  A friend of ours was kind enough to offer to watch Sam so we could go out to dinner.  We went to a German restaurant that we both liked...no frills, nothing special.  We had a nice quiet dinner date.  That was a day before our actual anniversary since he had to work on the day of our anniversary.  Since he didn't want to do anything on our actual anniversary, I decided to make a "nicer" dinner.  I've thought about what he would like so I went to the grocery store and got some mahi mahi and sea scallops.  I was hoping that even though he was working that he'd at least come home earlier to spend some time with us.  As per usual, I texted him to ask what time he'd come home.  He planned to come home at 6 pm.  I normally start cooking at 5:30, we eat at about 6:30, clean up, wash dishes, and i'm usually done about 8 pm.  We get Sam ready for bed, put him to sleep, and the night is usually gone.  Yes, no celebrating for us apparently.

I can't say i'm mad, maybe just disappointed.  I didn't expect something extravagant like upgrading our wedding rings and what not because I know we can't afford it right now.  We didn't get each other presents because we agreed to just get something that we both could benefit from (I didn't know what to get him anyway).  What I was hoping for was a little more time, a little more romantic moment.  He could've stop at the wine store to get a nice bottle of wine.  Heck, I would've settled for our favorite $7 wine from Costco.  Maybe a flower or two from my garden, or a tub of ice cream from baskin robbins. It's petty, I know but it is 10 years; 10 years of uncertainties, moving, and sacrifices.  I just wanted to know that it meant to him the same way as it means to me.

I suppose we can't be all hopeless romantics though.  And as I am trying to come to terms with that, I still can't hide my disappointment.  Maybe in time.