Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Open your Bible

A busy life is a poor excuse to neglect ones spiritual life. I am guilty of that. Last year, certain events have kept us from returning to church. It's so easy to say that faith should not be placed on the leaders of the church. That they are also human who falters. They also fail. But how can you trust the church, if the people that is supposed to lead you, does the very thing that he preaches you not do?

I am not good with words, and maybe what I just said didn't make sense. Since the Senior Pastor from the church we used to attend failed to lead by example, Josh and I have stopped going. And we just stopped looking for a new home church. I've always believed that what is most important is my relationship with GOD and how I live my life according to His will. I constantly pray for His guidance in every aspect. Lately, i've been having this feeling, this tug in my stomach, that what I am doing is not enough. Something is amiss.

 I keep thinking and wondering what that missing part is. What am I looking for. What will help me settle this uneasiness that I am feeling right now, with all the many uncertainties that my family and I are facing. Then I realized, that despite my praying and asking for God's guidance, I am not looking at Him. That my prayers are not as sincere. That I am distracted. I need more. I need to focus on Him. I need to go back to Him. But where to start? Last week, I came across something on my instagram that planted a seed in my heart. I pushed it aside, thinking I don't have time for it. A nagging part of me keeps saying, make time for it. If I have time to read books for book club, crochet my hat, play with Sam, look at FB and instagram, then I have time for this. I still put it off. Today, well something came over me. Something made me type the web address. Something made me decide that I have time today to look and see. As I was scrolling on the webpage, I saw a study that says "Open your Bible."  The website:

 I have to confess it's been a while since I opened my Bible. But today I did. And I read a few scriptures. Sam came to the room and asked me to read him something. I told him that I will read the story of Samuel to which he was named after. Before I knew it, I was in tears. I was overwhelmed. How did I come to this? How did I forget? So today it dawned on me, maybe this is where I start again. Maybe it's what I need to find that part missing in my life. And all I had to do was open my bible.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139: 23-24.

Sunday, January 4, 2015

2014 In Review Part 2

Fall came quickly for me this year. It's poignant because it's our last fall here in VA. It was exciting because of Josh's many achievements. He finally finished his second Master's degree, which allowed him more time to allot to us. At the same time, he was promoted to Chief in the navy reserves. I actually got to go to my very first navy (chief) ball.
Grandma Barbara and Grandpa Steve came to visit us for a few days. We spent a day in Shenandoah, taking in the sights, and enjoying each others company. It's nice to have family around, since it's a rare occasion for Sam to get to see his Grandma and Grandpa. Not for lack of wanting, but the distance is definitely a huge deterrent for us to get together.
Halloween is probably one of Sam's favorite holidays. He can dress up, carve/decorate pumpkins, go to the pumpkin patch, and of course, eat tons of candy. This year, he chose to be spiderman. He spent maybe a half hour collecting candy around the neighborhood, then came back home to devour them. He was also an active participant of decorating the pumpkin. He still thinks the inside of it to be gross, but he was actually able to tolerate it more than last year.
This year, we were able to spend thanksgiving in Hawaii. It was a nice time to see family, eat a lot of delicious food, and just relax. Josh and I were able to spend some much needed couple's time and eat the food that we miss from home. Before I knew it, the onslaught of Christmas Holiday was around the corner. No matter how hard I try to shop and be ready for the season before the craziness begins, I always find myself procrastinating. Times like this when the Christmas shopping and gift wrapping becomes a bit too intense and stressful, I find myself reminding myself constantly that Christmas is not about the gifts. It's about Jesus' birth, and the sacrifice that He came to do for us to be saved. Despite the craziness of the holidays, we had a lot of fun. Josh and I decided to spend our Christmas gift from my parents and took Sam to the Christmas town in Busch Gardens. The joy, excitement, and fun that Sam had is much more than any gift we could ever get. That, and Josh got his gluhwein. So all is good in the world.
A few days after Christmas, Sam turned 4. It's hard to believe that he is 4. I wonder where the time has gone. And though there were so many challenging days where I wondered if I will keep my sanity, there were so many days more when I am grateful that we have been blessed to be his parents. Being a parent is magical when you see your child grow. My prayer is that he grows up to be a God-fearing and responsible child. Nothing more.
2015 is here. This year poses a lot of changes and challenges. Josh and I decided that this is the time to go back home to Hawaii, to be closer with family, to start anew. It is hard to move again; to leave the life that we have built here in VA. It is difficult to leave the friends we've made, some of whom have become family to us. But it's also another beginning, another part of our sojourn. As much as I fear it (and I am having anxiety attacks about it), I know that it is the best. Before I know it, the worst will be over. So here's to 2015 and the journey we are about to have!