Sam's First 4th of July and on Parenting

Today is Sam's first 4th of July.  It wasn't much of a celebration since his Dad isn't here.  At the same time, he was getting sleepy just as the fireworks started.  He did wear his shirt proudly.  We are more than grateful for all the men and women who have sacrificed and are still sacrificing so much so that we can sleep well at night, knowing we are safe.  


Sam also gave his Aunt Jenny some fireworks.  See, Sam had a dirty diaper, so his Grandma took it out.  Since Sam was about to get ready for his bath, Grandma opted not to put a clean diaper on.  Since Jenny volunteered to give Sam a bath at night until we leave, she took him from Grandma.  I think he enjoyed this a lot, although he was a bit confused about his Aunt's reaction.

So Aunt Jenny had a bit of a wet firework on her clothes.  I thought it was real cute :).


Lately, i've been having a hard time getting Sam to drink his milk.  He also refuses to drink his water.  I'm concerned because he's not quite meeting his daily milk intake.  At the same time, when he doesn't drink his water, i'm afraid he might get constipated.  He eats his pureed foods with gusto, however, and I am already running low on apple sauce (I just went to the commissary last Saturday).  Maybe i'm being a bit too hard on him.  Sometimes I get so frustrated when he refuses to drink his milk that all I can do is grind my teeth to keep myself from yelling.  Does that make me a bad parent?  I'm not the type to call the doctor for every single thing that worries me.  In fact, other than Sam's routine visits and calling to see if I can put sunblock on him at 5 months, I never really called the doctor.  I am just concerned that if he doesn't eat enough, that he might lose weight.  He's pretty average right now in weight and i'd like to keep it that way.  However, with his renewed activeness and his decreased intake, I worry that it might not sustain him.  I just hope that he'll get over this phase once the teething is done.  


At the end of the day, I chastise myself for getting mad and being frustrated with Sam.  I wonder if anyone else ever feels that way.  I get frustrated so much at times that I grind my teeth so hard my jaw starts hurting.  And then I wonder, what kind of a parent I will be as Sam grows older?  Am I just frustrated right now because I face this problem alone without Josh to keep me at bay or take over when it gets overwhelming?  As a new parent, I regularly assess myself, and everyday, I feel bad when I get mad at my son.  


In less than two weeks, I won't have to face parenting alone.  I am hoping that the worse will be over:  Sam's other tooth would've broken through his gums, and he will start drinking his milk and water again.  I just hope I still have enough patience left until then.